Remembering my grandmother, hadji' s journey out of turkey to find refuge, I imagine her making toys from branches, creating hair with orange peels...... my own journey littered with the curse of the mundane and the godless...... furiously stabbing the needle into blue stained fingers with the currents of my shame.... lulling ourselves into a trance of forgetting... looking for food and nourishment in all places...seeking a different survival... looking to the outside to feel/feed the inside.... half alive, eyes closed , pockets filled with nuts and patched turmeric tea bags..... mixing memory and hope.... reaching back to days of joy, juicy apples without end.. journey of the undeserving .... with her by my side...
Valerie